 |
|
In light of the fact that the last post about my feelings and a certain game, I'm being told, will hit Metafandom and that I just posted about feeling disconnected from Meta fandom - I think I've figured out what I was feeling.
BURNT OUT.
Every week, every month there's another incidence of people not thinking and then it goes round and round the blogjournalsphere and others comment about how much there is a lack of thinking; don't appropriate, don't use the site of genocide for heart to heart buttsex, don't use a title in genocide for a game, don't attempt to decide what is painful and triggering and invasive and sexist/racist/ablist/cis-ist (cisgenderist?) for those to whom it's an every day thing.
I think I felt that Metafandom too often showcased that things aren't fixed, aren't even slowly mending. And occasionally there's a splash of issue of the week where one stumbles across someone writing who obviously doesn't have a clue it's just the rest of their flist is all talking about 'the thing'.
*breathes*
So yeah, I'm guessing this was a conservation of energy thing I was feeling and questioning.
Also, I'm a chronic pain sufferer, with a mental diagnosis - thus disabled, black, lesbian, non-Christian, Jewish, immigrant. No wonder I'm effing exhausted. And no wonder I've been so angry about what's happened in the femisphere recently. I live intersectionality. How the hell am I supposed to rip myself apart to shove some piece up front before the rest, according to the core within movements that only pay attention to ONE thing. Their thing.
So yeah, BURNT OUT on dealing with those who aren't living and breathing activism, in whatever form they take it, but with their eyes and ears always open and aware. This is not a cause for me. This is my life. That would change how I relate to things.
ETA: Oh the other hand, if the upset post does hit metafandom, it will remind me of which individuals on livejournal are still my people.
Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
If you're a part of that game - You upset and hurt me.
If you're part of the community that helped promote that game - You upset and hurt me.
Now leave me the fuck alone.
Having your journal pre-banned means I did not want to ever have any sort of interaction with you EVER.
I don't care if you're converting to Judiasm. I don't care if you just want some answers or to know. The day was long. I got steadily pissed. I DISLIKE YOU GO AWAY NOW.
There were three hundred plus comments. Maybe some of those people are willing to talk. I AM UPSET. I WANT YOU TO HAVE SENSE DRILLED INTO YOUR HEAD VIA SUPERVILLIAN.
Stop creating/using new journals to get around the banning. Stop commenting to me.
Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
very upset