This was originally going to be a summary post; my day, the rain, exhaustion, heavy therapy stuff, mild groceries, trash bins, feeling to exhausted to take the humdifier upstairs so it'll have to wait until tomorrow and about running into Dr. Suck from The Clinic Of Dangerous Incompetence & Lies (the one who's moving away, prompting insurance to call me and try to get me to pick a doctor even as I tell them I'm headed out the door to an appointment and they should call me back). As I was logging in, however, on the television (I had a Mythbuster's craving) came one of those 'IF YOU HAVE BEEN INJURED BY' lawyer commercials. For Actos. Litigious side effect? BLADDER CANCER.
Now I no longer care that when she saw me in the elevator (she was in the therapy building) what she remarked on wasn't 'is your blood pressure ok' and 'how are you'. But 'Oh, you've lost more weight!' And 'You're still with that other doctor, right? She's doing good with you'.
Yes. Me no longer being on destructive-to-my-system medications IS SOMEHOW ALL ABOUT SOME OTHER DOCTOR SOMEHOW DISCIPLINING ME INTO
BETTER HEALTH less weight. And I sit down to comment on it here, and the commercial comes on about ACTOS, the drug that OTHER DOCTOR put me on (the one I also no longer trust; she who put me on a sulphur drug and then told me it wasn't a sulphur drug the names just sounded similar).
Face Punch Doctors. Face Punch Them VERY MUCH.
My focus isn't and hasn't been on 9/11. I keep seeing it mentioned and forgetting it. I'm busy gearing up for the first anniversary of SkywardProdigal's death. As I write this, I find myself thinking, there are too many other people dealing with private, personal loss in the same period; or reminded of such by the season change of fall. I'm glad I'm missing the media hype. It's not a national holiday, it's not a celebration. It should be a national day of mourning, except it's too entangled with hate, loss of aspects of citizenship and a whole lot of bullshit. To those of you feeling jangled by it all; take care of yourself. Keep yourself safe. Turn off the tv if you can, avoid the news and papers, get a special favourite book out the library, try to have the ingredients for your favourite meal to cook, or just treat yourself somehow.