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Willow ([info]the_willow) wrote,
@ 2008-04-22 08:44:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:learn something new everyday, online: culture, online: journaling systems, online: life

Icons, People & Conversations
The icon situation is settled. I've left the posts up as a record for myself. But have disallowed or privatised comments and removed links to the individual per their request. I don't want to lock them because they're a good look at not thinking about the other side, assumptions and confusion. Even if I won't put up the resolution conversations as they are private, I think someone else experiencing the same situation can get the gist of how I was thinking and what I did and what happened.

Which is also the point of this post. I'd never before considered that linking back could be seen as a Red Letter of Shame / Accusation. I'd always thought of it as citing the source. Which is perhaps impersonal when individuals, private journal space and feelings are involved. Or rather when private topics are involved; identity + icons are private.

I've also never before thought about how my open journal policy might appear to others; strangers who don't know me or don't have the chance to read my userinfo to see what this journal is to me.

I am glad, however, that I was able to stop and think about the other side of things. And I'm glad I went with my gut and wrote an apology. I'm glad I could walk the walk and that I remembered that despite one's intentions or ignorance when someone's feelings are hurt - that's the important thing. And lucky for me, the individual involved thought that about my feelings too. :)


(Post a new comment)


[info]yonmei
2008-04-22 12:52 pm UTC (link)
When I link to someone's journal having said negative things about what they wrote there, I often find it a good idea to add a specific note saying "Do not use this link to rush over and attack that person, not that you would because you are nice people" - because I have seen on LJ how the link can create a furore or a drama or a storm or all three, where if people were merely left to find the post themselves, they wouldn't get so mad when they got there.

I mention this FWIW. I don't see that you did anything wrong by linking to that other journal, but I can see how it could get her twitchy.

(Reply to this)


[info]kathrynthegreat
2008-04-22 01:31 pm UTC (link)
Hi!

*waves*

Thank you for this. And again I apologize about everything. I've learned some things too.

*goes back to LJ-land*

(Reply to this)



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