|Willow (the_willow) wrote,|
@ 2008-09-04 12:15:00
|Entry tags:||health: emotional, health: mental, pain scale 5.5, therapy / therapy day|
Update of Me
Pain currently at a 5.5 inching towards 6.
It's not exactly a positive but its return as actually clarified some things for me.
1. I am dealing with anxiety (I hold my body different when I'm anxious and I also tend to rock. It's more noticeable with pain)
- 1.b) I know I am anxious when I can't even read the continuation of a fic, by a fanwriter I like, because it's reading the 'unknown' and not knowing what could happen makes me want to curl up into a little ball and weep while an invisible crab piercing my flesh and perforates my lung organs while chewing my heart.
2. When I wasn't feeling pain my body was catching up on sleep. But I got so worried about my schedule being backwards that I didn't think of just switching when I took the pills and maybe adding a little caffeine to stretch out until a more regular bedtime.
3. Part of my anxiety is no doubt the therapist switch.
- 3.b) This anxiety is probably also why I'm soothing myself with research and organization and can't handle anything remotely social.
I'm going to try and discuss all of this in therapy today, then come home and crash - no matter what the hour is.