By Any Other Name
the tale of Willow

Willow
Date: 04:16PM | Wed, March 7th | 2012
Subject: I Just Backed My Old LJ Up W/ LJARCHIVE
Security: Public
Mood:hungry hungry
Tags:.deewee, processing

After I don't know how long, someone paid money out of their own pocket to get someone to fix the program so it could backup comments from LJ again (combined w/ lj doing something to the code). Which is great because somehow I'd lost my old backup, and had to use LJBOOk. And LJBOOK is just... messy. Searching for things in a pdf file just doesn't work, etc, etc, etc. Of course, probably due to the fork in the code or whatever, the hold up of comments, at the same point that was happening on LJ, was also happening on DW. But this fix, doesn't fix that.

And DW ... actually, fuck DW. I ended an online friendship, because I honestly did not think that the creators and owners of DW should be held responsible for bullshit that LJ had done, even if they'd worked there for a time. And I was fed up with doom and gloom and rants about it. I did what I needed to do at the time. It's done. But now here I am, and for the past year? 2 years? I've been fed up as hell with DW as a service. Fed up as hell with the owner/creators; their attitudes and hubris.

And right now, I am sick the eff up with realizing that people don't want to publicly talk about it. We can talk about Mark Zuckerberg and his one man crusade to end privacy, we can't talk about the isms of the creators of DW? Because what? Our community and interactions are somehow being held hostage? Fuck it. Just, fuck it. I am sick to hell up, with feeling twist-bended in emotional quagmire when it comes to that place. I am sick of feeling like my information is held hostage, or my relationships are held hostage. I didn't let LJ ride over me for that shit. Why am I giving DW so much damn crawlspace in my head?!!

I hate monopolies. And DW is in a monopoly position as much as LJ once was. And no one talks about that. No one talks about the disappeared projects. No one talks about the attitude responses to suggestions. No one talks about stuff, it's all quiet, hurting grumbles and subtext. It's been 3-4 years now. Chance given. Time to stop treating it, and I'm talking about myself now cause I'm not in anyone else's brains, like the pet project of one of my dearest friends that needs room to find its feet. And start treating it like a business. Start pointing out the cliquishness that happens among some and certain volunteers and contributors.

If we can talk about the good and bad happening with Obama, happening in the world, we can sure as hell, or at least, I (we) can sure as hell discuss the good bad with damn Dreamwidth.

I am never gonna figure out what I want to do about that situation, if I don't process it. I'm not gonna process it, if I hesitate to write out my feelings, and investigate them. So yeah, fuck the cliqueshness masquerading as loyalty and professional loyalty. Fuck the bullying and passive-aggressiveness. Fuck the ignoring certain accessibility issues. Fuck the lip-service to diversity. Fuck the transparency that isn't truly transparent (seriously, I was playing that I'm all open and honest while keeping ALL my secrets when I was effing 9 yrs old). Fuck feeling like wanting to express dissent equals accepting the label of 'irrational hater'.

Did this thing have people hwo just plain didn't like it? Yes it did. Has the time come to stop counting everyone with a problem one of them? IT LONG ASS AGO PASSED.

Fuck having to KNOW someone, to get information on the CSS that would screen certain feeds, people and images for you and it not being in an accessible place.

Fuck having no option to use damn killfile on the site.

Fuck 'third party software is not our problem' bullshit, when access and use of the site is how they damn well make their money (or grow the community to attract people to MAKE money).

My fairness to give this thing a chance, it had its moment. Fuck making me feel like I OWE more somehow and all that other bullshit emotional propaganda and manipulation.

ETA - Friday March 9th: http://www.acidqueen.de/lja/LJa.html Link to new/updated ljArchive that works with Livejournal. All regular users need is the Setup file. Should have put a link up before.

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Willow
Date: 10:14PM | Mon, November 14th | 2011
Subject: DW. Tags. Layouts
Security: Public
Tags:.deewee

Is there a way, I just don't know of, to get an entries tags at the top of a entry instead of at the bottom? To have the tags describing what the entry is about to show up somewhere up by the date, title or name of the poster? Is there a specific layout/style that does this? Is there a bit in modules (customization) I've missed? I thought it was meta data, but apparently, not.

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Willow
Date: 12:08PM | Sun, January 2nd | 2011
Subject: Dreamwidth :(
Security: Public
Mood:disappointed disappointed
Tags:.deewee, online: journaling systems, wtf!, wth?

I thought, hey for the new year let me change the page theme - I'm feeling for something brighter. My current OMShootSomething, is that apparently CSS adjustments don't save theme to theme. The link list saves and text saves, but not the CSS. And right now I can't remember the adjustments I'd done, so as not to see certain things on my friends page, etc. I even went back to check what I think is the version of 'Funky Circles' I was using before (I might try and check all versions, but I'm fairly certain I started off w/ Chocolate) But I'm already feeling drained due to the disappointment and dislike.

The other irk, is well, there aren't as many options as one would think. Just myriad recoloured version of the bases. Some of the colour combinations are truly awful to my eyes - which is why colour palettes to me, should be easy to use but all personalization on a -base- plain palette. And then many of the bases available are from branchandroot, who sticks in my mind as having said many things opposite DW's diversity statement.

And in the midst of the disappointment of the moment, I remember the DEC news; the big feature of 'reading lj posts (including locked) on DW, with DW as a kind of rss reader - BLOCKED. It's not going to happen. Apparently LJ would go 'oh hellz no' and stop ALL access allowed to DW on their servers.

And if I'm being told to use a desktop RSS feeder -anyway- and a desktop RSS feeder is what I -have- been using to keep track of people on LJ, it's not that much to add people from DW (even if I shall miss their icons). And I'll certainly not come across the naked and or other things I (personally) find disturbing if I'm using a desktop reader. Luckily I already know about digest=auth

So...

ETA: I may have found at least the basic code and feeds I'd wanted to block (not stuff I'd later added that was seriously racist and or mysognitic). But I only found it thanks to LJ-Archive and the ability to search my archives and easily read comment responses. Which just irks me all over again about DW not allowing me to save comments. Yeah, if it bothers me, let it go - the trend will continue. I think it saved me some serious high blood pressure and nose bleeds in 2010. No more people disappointing me by acting the way my instincts said they would.

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Willow
Date: 05:43PM | Mon, June 28th | 2010
Subject: Syndication Level Back To Summary
Security: Public
Tags:.deewee, .ijay

Meaning when you click 'read more' it'll take you to my iJay, thus avoiding cut-tag issues and lost comments on DeeWee issues. And I can also stop feeling twitchy that there's a new LJ feed somewhere drawing in eyeballs and possible ad revenue (yes I asked them to get rid of the feed, but I don't know if that works to prevent others from creating a new one).

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Willow
Date: 03:55PM | Mon, June 28th | 2010
Subject: It Is raining
Security: Public
Tags:-indescribable-, .deewee, .ijay, about family, errands: important calls

I have the sniffles, my back is spasming. I have pizza I'm going to heat up and eat. I want to try and get my groceries ordered by this evening or so - hopefully without neuron misfires and unexplicable panic. First ting I did when I woke up, after taking a few breaths, was try and deal with my brother's electronics situation. Got it sorted only to have my mother go off about the company not having good customer service and and and...

I'm already dealing with all sorts of emotional things I need to work out. So I'm going to try and space out today and see if that can happen.

Am rethinking the summary vs full syndication thing again, since it also seems as if people reply to non-summarized feeds at the feed site - with comments I then of course never see. As well as issues with cut-tags, not just for safety issues but for spoilers. Ugh.

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Willow
Date: 06:39PM | Fri, June 18th | 2010
Subject: I need some DW Script Help
Security: Public
Tags:.deewee

I really really need to know how to use Kilfile (via Greasemoneky) on DW. It's one thing that style=mine doesn't work. But I seriously need not to ever see the words of some particularly deluded white sonsos.

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Willow
Date: 07:30PM | Thu, March 18th | 2010
Subject: And I'm Done
Security: Public
Tags:.deewee, wth?

So I was exploring people's networks and reading lists on DW; trying to feel better and just y'know, exploring. And then I ran smack into the naked people sex pics with no cut tags and...

Yeah.

Not exploring so much anymore.

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Willow
Date: 06:40PM | Sun, February 21st | 2010
Subject: Near Speechless Gratitude
Security: Public
Tags:.deewee

I love fucking_meds(comm @DW). I can't even explain. I... in tears here. I never realized something as simple as 'I had that side effect too' could make such a difference!

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Willow
Date: 05:39PM | Thu, January 14th | 2010
Subject: So it's the end of the business day Thursday...
Security: Public
Mood:upset upset
Tags:.deewee, willow's warren

And I have not had the conversation with my landlady we were supposed to have about her selling the property that contains my apartment. That was the news I got early Tuesday morning that was related to a phone-call on Sunday the 9th that I missed.

She's decided to sell.

When Will We Have Conversation? )

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Willow
Date: 05:57PM | Wed, November 25th | 2009
Subject: Update On Me
Security: Public
Tags:.deewee, state of me, stress scale 4.5

Just woke up, crashed this morning with residual panic (sometimes it comes in waves). Best thing so far in the fifteen minutes I've been up? GP Doctor got my message, called to find out how I was, understood that I don't have control over that level of panic, let me know I didn't have to take the medicine and we could work something else out, wants to make sure I try and get a reschedule in within two weeks.

I want to cry in relief.

It lowers so much remaining tension with dealing with people. Really.

Meanwhile I want to attempt to tidy up some in the apt, and see if I can't cook myself a turkey breast for Thursday.

Tommy Icon for Self

Oh yeah, in Dreamwidth Isn't Archiving My Comments With LJ Archive News? I deleted all but my race rants from imported LJ entries. LJ-Archive still can't sync properly even though it now says I have 14698 comments instead of 70k something. Also despite using LJ-Sec to delete posts, some just randomly stayed and had to be deleted by hand. So I'm pondering that LJ-Sec is yet another tool that doesn't quite work with Dreamwidth.

It got longer that expected )

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Willow
Date: 11:14PM | Sat, November 21st | 2009
Subject: In Other News
Security: Public
Tags:.deewee, pain scale 7

My hip has hurt for three days straight, and it's kind of getting to me. It's not a biting, omg need to vomit pain. But it feels wrong and makes me worry and overthink.

Also I miss DW. Yes I'm still commenting, but I miss the people that drop in to say *hugs*. I'm very much aware that it's a 'deal' to come to iJay and people tend to do so and catch up on a bunch of posts at once. The major thing is, however, the very reason I'm not over there (inability to save comments) makes missing it useless. Because I'd be there and anxious about not being able to save it, or just be xposting there with comments on here.

But it rankles a lot that some problem with my imported lj comments apparently isn't duplicable. It's the thing that originally made me go - hey this could get me just about 98% or more LJ free and pay attention to dw in the first place. And then it irks that you can't show comments but have comments closed. And it irks that you can't have comments open on individual posts if the comment default for the journal itself is 'comments disabled'. I mean Blogger has that. Since when has Blogger been on the cutting edge of the industry. They only figured out how to do easy jump cuts THIS YEAR. And it doesn't even work for everyone.

Meanwhile I've discovered/confirmed/reconfirmed my romance hot button trope.

But it doesn't feel very important at all given the hip pain. Seriously hip pain sucks. A lot. With rocks. Slimey rocks.

Also? Dragonage: Origins will never* drop to a price I consider reasonable given its skeezy race and trans issues *mental tantrum with fist stomping*

*[Note the dramatic emphasis]

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Willow
Date: 12:21PM | Sun, August 23rd | 2009
Subject: Random Note
Security: Public
Tags:.deewee, online: journaling systems

Re: LJ Archive giving problems, on the support comm on LJ, someone mentioned that they were having trouble with their journal's RSS/XML feed and figure something must be borked feedwise.

Given that DW allows comments to be imported from another journal, I wonder what that does to their comments feedwise and if it is an rss comment bork that's prevented me from saving my journal (with comments) there and thus updating my digital backup/digital memory/digital brain.

Of course no one involved with DW is reading my iJay, so I'll probably never know and it's unlikely to ever be solved even if it is a problem on their end, since right now it only affects a third party bit of software. It's still note worthy though.

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Willow
Date: 01:58AM | Tue, July 14th | 2009
Subject: This Is Not My Day With Journals
Security: Public
Mood:irked irked
Tags:.deewee, .ijay

1. [Error: Can't use an undefined value as an ARRAY reference at /home/lj/cgi-bin/LJ/PageStats.pm line 99. @ tugboat.insanewebhosting.com] when using format=light

2. iJay's Email Management won't let me delete my old email

3. My support request concerning openID comments not being emailed to me is STILL OPEN.

And [info]prozacnation just pissed me the hell off by telling me 'iJay can't do that' to something I KNEW iJay had done. Thank goodness for [info]das_dingsi pointing out that the tag manager will show full functionality under lynx scheme - http://www.insanejournal.com/manage/tags.bml?usescheme=lynx - I could seriously kiss him for that helpfulness.

iJay's my home and I love it, but staring at the open support requests is seriously depressing. They aren't all that much. But they ARE groupings of the same complaints. The array error, comment notification via email not working, other tag problems, people asking what the tag limits are and getting no replies.

Update (while typing): In the course of dealing with other stuff, [info]prozacnation has apologised. Which was unexpected because I honestly forgot that an apology could be a possible response. Clearly I am not in a mood fit for beasts or men and hadn't even realized it.

However


My Notes On Dreamdwidth: If Dreamwidth can't keep people using their product, because it doesn't mesh with third party products (which are utilized because of the needs of the clientele) then third party products are actually Dreamwidth's problem.

People = money. Money = funds. Funds = a business/their business plan. People - third party tools != money. No money = No funds. No funds != Dreamwidth's business plan.

As a fork, Dreamwidth has a problem, the problem of customers not being able to bring longstanding third party supplements with them to use in the new code base. These third party supplements are part of how the customers interact with LIVEJOURNAL and thus are PART OF THE LIVEJOURNAL EXPERIENCE. If Dreamwidth cannot match that, then no matter how interesting the code is, and all the little functional pieces that make people go 'aha! it makes sense to work like that' - then Dreamwidth is not going to be attracting LIVEJOURNAL / Former LIVEJOURNAL / DANGA Clone users. I'm sure they'll attract new users; users who aren't so familiar with livejournal they have a set of third party software that's integrated into their experience.

But Livejournal and Dreamwidth are theoretically about community. People want their community with them. Anything that keeps individuals from switching over and thus transferring community, is Dreamwidth's problem. These products extended LIVEJOURNAL's USIBILITY. I am very surprised to learn that such extensions of use wasn't considered relevant. It's a base that should be covered, because it encompasses familiarity and comfort. It's as important as grocery store layouts and interior car design.

< Redacted note to Zvi was here >

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Willow
Date: 01:40PM | Mon, July 13th | 2009
Subject: Code Code Everywhere But Not A Drop To Drink
Security: Public
Tags:.deewee, .ijay

Woke up a few minutes ago, after crashing when the turkey was done (actually a little before, but I was tired like whoa). In a few momnets I will be all 'I haz delicious turkey woot woot!'. For now though, there was apparently a dreamwidth code push this morning or something. One can now change the text that says 'blah blah comment here'.

I sigh at this. Because I would love to have that automatically at the bottom of my iJay posts. But I seriously doubt dreamwidth will be worrying about code to direct people to a different journal site - so this is something that will have to wait for an iJay code push. But who knows when that will happen. I just discovered/realized that tags management does not show you how many entries are using a particular tag. Which seems rather basic to me. But apparently it's never been part of iJay's code. I'm sure someone out there will likely know or be able to guess why. I just end up thinking why on earth wouldn't it be part of iJay's code base.

So if basic tags management needs updating, something like a crossposting ability or ability to leave a line stating 'comments here' is fur fur fur down de road. In de mythical land of 'De day iJay updates to Dreamwidth's Code instead of Livejournal's '

Note: Still can't download my deewee.

More Note: - Y'know what's stupid? Stupid is being logged in as myself, but being unable to see comments on entries because I turned comments off. So that I wonder WTH dreamwidth, where are my comments, why didn't they transfer over? And going to check what happened by checking to see what DID import over. And end up thinking, the way the import options are laid out that it's possible to JUST IMPORT COMMENTS ALONE and thus end up with double fucking entries. ALL fucking OVER again.

At some point I'll use LJ-Sec again to delete the doubles. Cause right now I'm just too fucking pissed off. It's partly my mistake. But I'm tired of things with Dreamwidth not working for me. Not working and not working out. I am done. D.O.N.E.

Call me when it's out of Beta. I might reconsider. But my health does not need another source of aggravation in life. And the majority of my interactions with DW involve it not fulfilling my needs. My journal(s) is a very important part of my life. Thus not fufilling my needs leads to frustration. Frustration leads to higher blood pressure. I do not want to end up dead.

And for the record (Zvi) - no way in < insert your choice of pained real or metaphysical place of horror here > am I shifting my blog over to DW. Pinpoint control over comments is not worth additional aggravation when the blog already gets me riled up. I do not want to end up dead. It would hurt people I care about.

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Willow
Date: 06:42PM | Wed, June 24th | 2009
Subject: Heads Up
Security: Public
Mood:upset upset
Tags:.deewee, .ijay, heads up!, online: journaling systems

DW doesn't have viewing filters and I just read something in my general going down my reading list that upset me all over again. So for right now I will only be checking my iJay reading list, where I can filter things. Because I don't actually want to drop people off my reading list (at least I don't think so at this time)

Look, it's more 'keeping myself safe' like a good little survivor. Though however would I have thought of this, without others to tell me what to do. /end sarcasm.

(Yep, still pissed).

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Willow
Date: 07:50AM | Mon, June 15th | 2009
Subject: DW fiddley bits
Security: Public
Tags:.deewee

So not only can I not see some people on my flist - but now my layout has borked itself somehow, to a very narrow space in the middle for entry content. So apparently DW doesn't like me saying there are parts of it that don't work for me, and the site itself is trying to be a jerk so I break up with it first.

This plus unhappy fan community news - all before breakfast.

Must be a day that begins with M.

ETA: Layout fixed. Was linked to CSS code to change layout margins to 0. Apparently previous incarnation with 0 margins was code error itself.

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Willow
Date: 01:04AM | Wed, June 3rd | 2009
Subject: And Lo, The Shiny Did Pop
Security: Public
Tags:.deewee, .ijay

1. When I first got my DW account, I was able to use LJ archive to back it up.

2. My LJ has been backed up via LJ Archive for two years now, with no problems.

3. My iJay has been back up (with LJ entries) for two years now. It is current.

4. Even after deleting all my posts except May & April and re-importing my LJ, so that there are no longer double entries, my DW account still stalls when trying to download past comment #173

5. I have, however, been able to download the entire journal if I do not download the coments.

6. Therefore there is something happening in my comments, my DW comments, preventing LJ-Archive from working.

7. I've been told this is a problem with LJ-Archive and that DW cannot do much about third party software. Ticket closed.

8. This leaves me in a similar situation as me having an Inksome account. In my Inksome account I cannot download any entries via LJ-Archive. And the reason given is something to do with xml. That problem has never been fixed. I've mentioned it to [info] - inksome.comstaff_kit twice or thrice and opened a support request, subsequently closed. (Huh, it's fixed now. Last checked in March? So uhm, not sure about DW past commenting now)

9. DW's appeal to me was the comment import and the chance to have old LJ Conversations on certain topics, include their original comments, while not being on LJ.

10. I've disabled commenting to the DW journal. There's no point in using this as a place of conversation, if I can't save the conversations in an easy to read format, via an easy to use device.

11. I will either try to include a link to have commenting happening on my iJay (DW has definitely spread awareness about OpenID) or this journal will lockdown to private and be used as a private writing journal, and for commenting to others.

12. I am currently considering my conversations in DW to be lost. I will be trying to organize them as best I can in my email box.

13. There is no thirteen.

14. DW still has lots of other shiny. And how. The practicality of the coding for User Interaction in general still makes me go ooh. But the main reason I got excited about it for myself (vs, for my boo), is now moot. Hopefully an iJay implementation of DW code is closer in the future (I will miss comment editing something fierce) and won't bob-up comment archiving there.

15. I thank you muchly, DW Faeries, who gave me paid time (and I've just realized, more than one month).

[ iJay Commenting Here ]

PS: Yeah, I don't see myself hunting down a link and c/ping into every DW post I make.

PPS: I had previously been xposting, so my iJay does have my gen posts if folk wanted to have more conversation with me in particular vs taking the talk to their own journals.

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Willow
Date: 09:06AM | Sun, May 31st | 2009
Subject: She Needs Things Just So
Security: Public
Tags:.deewee, about me, online: journaling systems

I just deleted all my posts, except the ones made here from April and May and then re-imported my journal from LJ.

I may have mentioned the complication in doing that originally and then importing my iJay and ended up with doubles. The doubling kind of irked at me. But what really bothered me was LJ Archive not working to back everything up.

It kept timing out. I think the problem was all the comments.

But the point is, I need backups of my journal. It makes me feel so much better to have them. It's the story of my life, after all. So I decided that if people needed to read what went on in my life - they can check my iJay. It's got all proper filters, etc, etc, etc. If not, they can wait for me to - eventually unflock things here. I am in absolutely no rush - backing up my LJ is more about saving the comments on an actual journal site for some entries I want to continue being shared, without having to give LJ hits, blah blah, etc... with the conversations saved.

Unfortunately, LJ Archive is looking iffy backing up the comments despite everything. It seems to have managed 28, out of 9851. So it's wait and see time, and hope it really does back up...

Wait! I am GENIUS! I made a new archive and I'm now up to comment 173! So, tiny bit of hope! (uhm, why is it not showing the downloaded entries? - *sighs*)

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Willow
Date: 06:51PM | Thu, May 28th | 2009
Subject: Dot Dot Dot - Thursday
Security: Public
Tags:.deewee, energy scale 3, health: physical, willow's warren

Did not collect script today. Last night got fed up with litter tracking and vacuumed. I'd only been doing it once a week because the machine is heavy. And not only did I vroom across the carpet, I tried to move a door out of storage (that didn't work out) and I fiddled with several pounds of little in a box, trying to figure out the best position for it, to place something to catch the tracking.

I wore myself out in otherwords and luckily I recognized it and didn't go haring off downtown, which would have resulted in me flat on my back. As it is, even though I'm lime and salting a chicken, I might just order dinner, because dealing with wrestling a 7 pound bit of poultry to rinse it, season it and put it in an oven, might knock me flat on my ass.

Also today? I wrote up a 2 page report on LED lights, with some mention of CFL's for my landlady, because when someone asks me a questions and I don't know - I research. And I fell into the mode of giving her the same kind of report I'd give my mother when -she- wants to make a decision. I guess I felt it was my responsibility for even mentioning the lights just because I turned the tv on last night and they got mentioned.

Oh yeah, and I've been stretching all week, trying to include some movement in the hopes it'd help me handle the barometric pressure from all this rain. I'm lucky I recognized the twinge of 'Your ass is gonna fall flat out girl if you try too much more like taking that hill you live on down and up'.

I need to get the focus to read these articles I have up about CFS, I know one explains the exhaustion and chemicals and I really want to know.

Also! Saw the icon browser thing either Wed or Tues and so much YAY! It's not the GJ version, but it's still pretty cool.

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Willow
Date: 09:43PM | Fri, May 22nd | 2009
Subject: Ahem
Security: Public
Tags:.deewee

Spam in the DW Suggestions Thread. I feel special, it replied to me.

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Willow
Date: 09:50PM | Mon, May 4th | 2009
Subject: Testing Xposter
Security: Public
Tags:.deewee, .ijay, a bundle of thoughts, errands: house stuff, pain scale 3, xposted

Using the web access for typing in a journal entry is weird - which is odd since I occasionally do it for iJay. Anyway, currently testing the xposter.

Also imported my LJ and iJay to DW today. Because I had almost everything on LJ locked to private, I'm the only one seeing the multiple posts for 2002 to 2007. I plan to go through some time when I'm bored and do something so the stuff with comments can be seen. Right now, only my race stuff have comments that can be seen.

Part of me kind of doesn't care about unlocking the other stuff, that part is very small compared to the part of me that's kind of terrified now about how this all works access wise (I can't even remember how it worked for LJ-SEC). Filters and which entries will be seen by whom, blah blah blah.

It's a lot of worry for stuff several years past.

And of course now after the fact, do I think that maybe I didn't need to import anything from iJay but could simply have a link to my iJay archives somewhere on my profile. Blah argh, slow brain.

Speaking of, Denise has totally indoctrinated me into her cult. There were torches, baked goods and a multl tentacled, multi glowing eyed beast. There were also cats and secret handshakes; very Illuminati.

You may all weep for the lost of my individuality now.

Meanwhile due to Denise, I could actually get out of bed today and help Zvi with the third bookcase, which decided to mock us by messing up with the second shelf. Either I'll do it myself this week or Zvi will try to stop by next week. In the mean time I have shelves to organize and maybe a futon to move. I can at least plump the mattress again.

And oh! I plan to exhaust myself on Wed, by going to pick up a mattress cover. It might be very unfuton like to want a waterproof mattress cover. But I have a cat. And I'm fed up with washing it.

Have possible phone calls to make tomorrow.

Having filters in my brand new journal is oddly irking. I've deleted a few that don't factor, mostly reading filters. But without everyone on them over here, it's a little more complicated to figure out the reading access filters. Actually, considering my access policy, I kind of wonder if I could just make all my filters into access only. I had a lot of them done for varying degrees of 'how much do they know about me'. And right now, that's basically all taken care of with 'access / no access'. So aside from a tighter filter for personally identifying details, I don't have much need for access filters. Reading filters on the other hand - those would come in REAL HANDY.

I'm just saying.

Also, Tags need a drop down box.

And whoa, my iJay has more icons than my DW. It's odd having too little space after two years of having 500 slots available.

ETA: Xposter failed. The most obvious problem would be password. *goes to check*

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Willow
Date: 06:38PM | Sat, May 2nd | 2009
Subject: Cause Hetero Folk Be Working My Nerves
Security: Public
Tags:.deewee, personal is political

Hmm maybe I should crosspost with comments only on DW? That option didn't occur to me until right this second. Anyway angry thoughts here.

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Willow
Date: 09:14PM | Fri, May 1st | 2009
Subject: Stuff & Abandonment (Kinda)
Security: Public
Tags:.deewee, .ijay, errands: house stuff

Well, one by one they go. So far two people have said they'll no longer be updating their iJays. And one of them isn't even on Dreamwidth. They're just... done with iJay. Meanwhile I sent a friend an invite before realizing she'd -just- gotten a code and set up a journal on DW. So now she's got an extra one. Yay for her :)

I need food. I have yet to get up and heat it up/make it. I also want to do some light errands tonight. Though I'm amazed that getting my pills (and walking around with 7lbs of kitty litter) so wore me out.

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Willow
Date: 10:07PM | Tue, April 28th | 2009
Subject: Orc Sheep
Security: Public
Tags:.deewee, gip, poc: culture



A little something for my DeeWee account, that I thought to share over here. It is PoC gankable only, however.

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Willow
Date: 06:22PM | Sun, April 26th | 2009
Subject: ... iJay
Security: Public
Tags:.deewee, .ijay, my culture, wth?

It is seriously depressing how difficult it is to send a PM to someone on iJay. Where the hell am I supposed to go? I go to their profile and look for a button. But there's no button or link there. I go to my inbox but I can't tell how to send a message, I only see how read comments made on my journal.

Mouse hover to access on DeeWee seriously, seriously, makes a world of difference. At the moment the ease of communication is making me think xposting everything might be worth it and people will figure out on their own how to avoid seeing the same post twice.

Can you tell I don't want to give up my iJay? Or my iJay flist?

But things just working in DeeWee is a powerful, powerful draw. (It's like some crazy merger world of Nike's JUST DO IT and Obama's YES WE CAN, over there)

Tangentially related: THIS is office wear where I come from. So is this. This is my culture.

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Willow
Date: 03:28PM | Sun, April 26th | 2009
Subject: Clowns & Bugs
Security: Public
Tags:.deewee, about me, mental health, show: roughneck chronicles

Tried to sleep earlier last night. Somehow the moment i got to bed, it all vanished. Stayed there for a little while too. Then ended up wearing myself out doing some dishes and counter cleaning. Have come to realize that I need to keep the handy wipes on the counter and not in a drawer. I don't remember to use them when they're in a drawer. Using them would save me in upkeep.

I'm still kinda nervous about the apt inspector from the city (she's showing up so as to validate the building as multi residence). Buying the bookcases was great. I felt adult. I also felt terrified out of my mind at spending the money and the moment they arrived, I ended up taking days off the second I couldn't immediately figure them out. And it's taken me those days to realize I'd used up spoons - emotional spoons.

This is the first place that's felt like home in two years. It's an amazing place and I still have to remind myself that I do deserve it. On the other hand, I'm always afraid it'll get taken away. That I won't be seen as a trusted enough guardian for it. I don't have my house keeping mode all set. Sometimes I don't do laundry for a month to six weeks. I sweep the kitchen floor but haven't mopped it since I moved in (and it kind of needs it - I've been going back and forth on if I should use a regular mop which I own, or try to buy a swifer like thing).

I'm planning Sunday to ask upstairs for a vacuum, since I stopped getting down on my knees to use my little handi-vac weeks ago. It just hurts too much.

Sometimes I think I was prophetic when I said it'd take me a year to unpack and settle in, like my unconscious knew what my conscious didn't. Because it's feeling that way. As if I'm slowly relaxing and trying to unclench. And yet, there's always that fear that it'll be taken away. And I don't know all possible triggers for it. It could be my mother (sense of instability in my life), my sense of lack of my own importance, my confusion about what it means to have my own home and a heck of a lot of other things I can't even frame into thought sequences.

And all this has been a lot to admit just to say I've realized that this is something I need to do slowly at my own pace and not rush in an attempt to get it all 'perfect' for someone else. But it's a big fear. A really big fear. The thought of my landlady somehow, despite her niceness, just being upset, despite prior experience to the contrary, saying I'll need to move come June/July - I want to cry right now at that thought. Weep, actually. I've wanted a home for so long, it's surreal to believe it won't go away - I won't mess it up somehow. It's live the movie annoying girl despserate for a man - except for me, it's a place to live and call my own.

If you've read this far, however, you should get to hear about the bugs. I love Starship Troopers: Roughneck Chronicles. I loved it when I first saw it on in the early mornings in a house four moves back And I loved it when I rented it from netflix. And I love it now that I finally own some of it. I've always found it engrossing storytelling and very well done - not just as a kid's show, but as entertainment in general. That said, however, I'm finding myself shaking my head a bit at one bit of plotting this time around. And it's making me think about, well, people's attitudes towards mental health and how unhealthy they are.

Cause storytelling critique of a favourite show really is a nice side dish with a serving of Willow's insecurities. )
___

Totally unrelated: Having different content on two different journals when the content is still all about my crazy general thoughts and not on a theme (reccs, writing, Willow + Cat) is beginning to freak me the hell out. I tend to use my journal to conglomorate myselves, this dual purposes feels very fragmented and just plain effed up and wrong, the more I try to do it. Solutions will be thought on, but suddenly I'm leaning towards xposting with no comments on DW.

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Willow
Date: 10:18PM | Mon, April 20th | 2009
Subject: We don't start nuffin, they won't be nuffin.
Security: Public
Mood:irritated irritated
Tags:.deewee, .ijay, online: keeping in touch

People who are tired of me posting about things I appreciate about Dreamwidth, the bulk of which is how happy it makes my boo - scroll the heck on by on any and every post I make about being able to share in appreciation with my boston wife.

If you don't have a boo, that's a shame and I feel sorry for you and hope you get such a good friend in the future. But you're not going to understand my enjoyment of her joy, or my being pissed when people try and spit in her wheaties.

I said 'give it a chance' and people huffed. I said 'they put up with us, we can put up with them' and people huffed.

When the huff boils down to 'I don't like x and don't trust them' and 'What do I need another journal service for?' - You're not going to be the only one rolling their damned eyes.

Your trust issues aren't another person's trust issues - so those will never exactly align. And as for 'Why do I need another...?" I point to Twitter. People are still posting articles in frigging Magazines about how they just don't get it.

I'm a put my joy for my Boo under cut-tag, you put your whatever under cut-tag.

We don't start nuffin, they won't be nuffin.

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Willow
Date: 06:49PM | Tue, April 14th | 2009
Subject: Willow Has Words
Security: Public
Tags:.deewee, online: journaling systems, wtf!!, xposted

Y'know, I had my beef with livejournal. I was angry and bitter and needed time to step back and heal. And I had arguments with [info]zvi-likes-tv.livejournal.com because she was tired of hearing my anger about LJ and ended up saying something about it and we had it out.

But today I found myself with a whole lot to read about DW and how much people are afraid of it, don't like it because of who created it (and I have to admit to having a personal bias there cause Denise kicked on iJay and will forever have me giving her cut eye over that) and people also don't believe there will be 'The Great Fannish Migration' - so they're not even going to bother... blah blah blah.

Today was apparently 'Air Your Cynicism Day'.

Truthfully I do not believe in a Great Fannish Migration. Y'all are lazy asses. Those who aren't lazy asses moved back in 2007. That's my belief and you're not going to shake it from me. However, I do believe in good code and usability and I do believe in community.

Cause this got a little extended. *adds cut tag* )

Yeah this got a little tl:dr. Some of you may not read it. It's not actually a great big 'Hurrah For DreamWidth'. But it is 'WTF people, you're not even giving them a CHANCE!'. I like to think the people reading this are intelligent enough to take the reminders contained therein that point out the differences between DreamWidth and Danga Interactive Clone Sites. I'd also like to think they're not spoiling from two years of bitterness over their social circles (fans or not fans) not moving when they moved and are upset that it takes something shinier than iJay to get people to lift their metaphorical lard asses.

DeeWee is shiny. Yes. But it's shiny in the way that LJ hasn't been in a couple of years. It's shiny on the back end.

Try it or don't try it. But really, you've got no ground to open your mouth if you haven't tried it / if you haven't read the updates / if you only have word of mouth.


_________

* If, and so far the things that DeeWee has promised, it has delivered on, there ends up being a way to read flocked posts via rss feeds on one's DeeWee reading list, it will make DeeWee accounts less likely to go inactive.
_________

PS: All y'all snarky ass bitches talking about the drama of fannish life and what will happen due to access or not access? You'd be finding something else to bitch about re: 'Teh Dramaz' and we all know it. People bring the drama, not just fans.

PPS: Having now had some confirmation that some folk haven't bothered following or reading me on iJay and it wasn't just they had nothing to say - thus lack of comments. I am cleaning house, both for my iJay and in who I'll grant access to on DW.

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By Any Other Name
of Willow
January 2016