By Any Other Name
the tale of Willow

Date: 11:37PM | Wed, July 25th | 2012
Subject: In Other Other News
Security: Public
Tags::( frowny face, games: general

I really enjoyed 'Magical Diary - Horse Hall'. And I've been poking around at other visual novel/life simulation stuff. Problem is, I think MD:HH spoiled me. Because limited as it was, there was character creation, and choice of responses. The next thing to interest in was - well actually the next/similar time was 'Long Live The Queen'. But it causes far too much anxiety at the moment. So, the next life sim/dating sim was 'Lucky Rabbit Reflex'. Which at first I thought was really cool. And now I realize, it's not.

Lucky Rabbit is set in England, surrounding 6th form. Ahh 6th form. Anyway, the character's personality - at least their - her private responses are set. I've yet to figure out if choosing a birthdate affects that or not. The game seems very involved and that's the part I liked. I liked that one of the goals is also to get a best friend among the girls - if I can't date one, actively working on a friendship is a good option. But it's in the dating/interacting with the guys that I've gotten my hugest turn off.

I'm just mucking about with the demo right now, and played through once and didn't much notice anything wrong at all. I was so excited. Then last night, as a calmer before bed, I mucked with the Demo again. What happened? I picked a different guy, just to see and well, I rapidly hit on the realization that this particular guy seems to have a problem with girls who don't have a problem eating good food, lots of it, and ingulging in hamburgers.

While I was pondering if what I thought was going on, was really gong on, I went perusing the game's forum. And there it was; 'to get your guy, you need to wear what he likes, and eat what he likes'...


So first time though, I was chilling with the brown dude, who plays sports and didn't have a problem with a geeky girl, with a big appetite who was also into sports and gaming etc.. And I didn't think much of it. Second time through, as a girl who's got no problem scarfing a burger, while dressing dainty - is apparently way too much a contradiction for the game's writing. Elegant girls might perhaps need salad and water.

I have issues with that. I have issues with a script that says; you can't get the guy unless you dress the way he likes, eat the way he likes, and have his exact interests. I don't like the message that sends. I find that really upsetting.

Really upsetting.

As if what you like about a person, what interests you about them; the light of their personality and soul is nothing compared to the right clothes, the right diet, the right look, and matching you for everything. As if relationships aren't about challenging one another and complimenting one another and supporting one another, friendships or more.

And I hate the excuse that it's all 'due to the limits of the game format'. There were things about Magical Diary I disliked too, and spoke to the creators about. A plot scene I found abusive. But even there, whatever guy or gal you ended up with? 80% of the time, you could play the character your way; choose what magics they liked, were they brainy or not? Pranky or not? Making friends with their roommates or not? Making other friends or not? Concerned about following the rules or not? Concerned about their fellow students or not? It was all up to you. Your personality and caring is what got people, characters interested in you. And that can happen no matter what shows you watch, food you eat, clothes you wear.

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Date: 10:24AM | Mon, June 14th | 2010
Subject: Wherein I use the term BITCH
Security: Public
Tags::( frowny face, feeling: anxiety, feeling: highly upset, things that suck

So here I am in the library while Bitchzilla from last year (why is there stuff on your counters, how could you still need to unpack after almost a year, cats are unclean, blah blah) is doing her 'inspection'. Y'know, the simple 'this house still qualifies as multiresidence' but which because judgement day on how a chronically ill person keeps house.

I forgot to bring water - because I was so nervous. Woke up an hour earlier than I had to. Got the cat squared away early. Was too jumpy to eat much of anything. Had to wait in the sun for 20 minutes because the library hours have changed again (budget cuts are evil).

It keeps feeling like something monumentous should be going on and the whole world should know I'm trying my best to stay calm and not freak the hell out. I had had plans (made weeks ago when I came up with leaving the house so I don't freak out and possibly murder someone and die of panic) of treating myself to lunch. But I just want to go home now - I feel ousted from my home.

Don't want to shop. Don't want to go to a restaurant. Just want it all to be over and be able to curl up in my HOME. The library's screen settings are weird, the keyboard placement is weird, the mouse settings are weird (I've become accustomed to button purpose being reversed). Ugh.

I started this post on DW and then c/p-ed it here. I'm still tied up in knots about where I post and don't need the extra aggitation.

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Date: 02:10AM | Sun, December 7th | 2008
Subject: Well
Security: Public
Tags::( frowny face

I'm apparently one affected by the broken icons thingy going on right now on iJay. Now to wait for [info]squeaky to wake up.

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Date: 10:20PM | Thu, December 4th | 2008
Subject: Dark Knight stabs at me.
Security: Public
Mood:pissed off pissed off
Tags::( frowny face, dvdflix, show: the dark knight, wtf!!

Blu Ray vs DVD.

SA has my unhappy thoughts.

Cusswords under the cut, since my dad reads my blog.

Bad word bad word completely stinking badword )

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Date: 09:40AM | Tue, November 25th | 2008
Subject: Vampires Shouldn't Sparkle
Security: Public
Tags::( frowny face, media: movies, writing: storytellers, wtf!!

C/P Comment:

So I read this on Sunday and then I came back to read it again because I was still so completely 'OMGWTFSeriously?'. Your parody did more to blow my mind at this than all the reviews I've read. Probably especially since I thought Mormon + Vampire Book must mean ex-Mormon and then I found out - uhmm, not so much.

Actually commenting because this is the umpteenth time I've heard the Buffy/Angel ripoff in comments to this and I still maintain it's a ROSWELL ripoff of Liz and Max. The whole 'stalk you cause I love you' + 'save your life, reveal what I am' + 'me and my merry band of non humans' + 'it's too dangerous for you to be a part of our lives but omg I looooves you'.

I'm seriously rethinking Roswell now, pondering if there were Mormon analogies within it that went over my head the way Narnia's Christian analogies did.(Seriously, I thought Aslan represented Baldur & the White Queen was a female Loki - thus the reverse from fire to ice) Because for the first time I find myself thinking - Mormons as Aliens? Making the Feds the bad guys? That... should my brain go there?

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Date: 03:39AM | Tue, October 7th | 2008
Subject: Language Thoughts + The Twelve Kingdoms
Security: Public
Mood:grumpyily thoughtful grumpyily thoughtful
Tags::( frowny face, reading, show: the 12 kingdoms

I take back what I said about Eugene Woodbury's translations of the books of The Twelve Kingdoms. Maybe I should email LJ's [info]oyceter and tell her. He seems to have done the most translations and made very pretty sites. And I must have read at least one of his translations and been impressed with it - or maybe I only thought it was his translation. Because there's just been too much colloquialism in his translations and it makes me want to slap the man.

It is much more jarring to see terms like "Whatever" and "Bring it on!" and "What's up?" and even worse. "A happening place" that it would be to see somewhat formal or slightly antiquated speech. Not only is the reader aware that the main character (in Youko's story) is hearing things in ways familiar to her, it's a good premise for introducing why certain words need to be explained therefore some words might be old fashioned to us, but a perfectly good translation.

I don't want to say it ruins the story. Because ruin is a harsh word. It's not like a LKH sex scene or a dangling plot thread, or boring for pages and pages. But it's very, very jarring. And the fact that his introduction makes note of the original author's eloquence and almost poetic turns of phrase seriously does not help.

Particularly jarring (makes me want to punch things) is when a very formal, very proper character suddenly starts slinging phrases like "What's up."


Ugh. Ugh ugh. Triple Ugh.

Am I seriously never going to properly enjoy reading Juuni Kokki unless I learn Japanese? And how the heck is that going to happen? I loathed learning Spanish in highschool. I knew enough at the time to read a little bit (perhaps because reading seems to be something that always brings me pleasure) but speaking it? Nah. And now I watch Anime and find myself picking up on the many possible ways translators interpret particular word sounds and I wonder if I'm someone who, despite feeling silly at learning and speaking at a baby level, would do better with an immersive type learning system.

Random Conversation:

Someone: "So why'd you learn Japanese?"

Me: "Cause it was Japanese or Vulcan or Klingon and Vulcan isn't properly organized enough so that leaves Klingon; but seeing as I don't have much love for drinking songs, and long love ode operas - I chose the thing that's better let me enjoy reading light novels."

Someone: "Light novels? Seriously? I thought you'd say anime."


Also yes, I'm well aware that Tokyo Pop has been doing the translations. But I'm also aware that Tokyo Pop has been Americanizing and also simplifying words and phrases. And I quite frankly had enough of 'wizards' with Harry Potter. I perfectly understand the concept of sages. I also like when places keep their names. There's no need to change the palace names, or the titles of ministers. It's like that BS with assuming American children would never figure out: jumpers, squash, lorry or watercloset. And in this case it's not even quite like that. It's the equivalent of calling Hogwarts Castle 'Cryptic Lair Of Wizard Learning'

Actually, it's worse, because even though the meaning of the word Hogwarts was actually explained in the books - they'd still be calling it 'Cryptic Lair of Wizard Learning aka Cryptic High.'


PS: There are people who disagree with my ugh, btw, and who don't think TP's spin on things changed all that much. However, trying to get something based on Chinese Mythology to come across like a Harry Potter knock off, or just another European fantasy land, extra pisses me off.

ETA: I seem to have talked about this before

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Date: 12:36PM | Fri, August 29th | 2008
Subject: Memories
Security: Public
Tags::( frowny face, about friendship, gip, online: support network, things that suck, writing: me

There's nothing like the rain to get one depressed. Though part of it is that even my new regime can't much help two days of rain. But I'm not in agony and that's pretty damn cool.

Bad side?

Rain's made me curl up and read. One thing led to another and I came across a photograph of two actors which led me immediately to thinking of an old rp which lead me to thinking about the once_upon_a_friend. And now I hurt all over again. It's just so sad to read a time when you were so simpatico you made two character's believable; with chemistry and backstory and inner life and intensity (and given how often Actors on Film can get it wrong, that is saying a lot).

And now here I am having never heard back about feeling abandoned - thus making it official. And it makes the storyline I'm reading so achingly bitter sweet.

I wonder if that's part of my last few fears about writing - some confused tumble of emotions about how I might never be able to get 'THAT' again far less on my own. I suppose it's just a pall over a collaborative effort that had me trusting my writing so much.

BUT I'm well aware that I've not drifted away from everyone I've written with and they poke me and hug me and send me delightful cheering up / house warming gifts. So I do have perspective.

Still, it's one of those things where you see the perfect imagery and you just WANT to tell that particular person and it's not going to happen now.


I'll get over it. The sky's just grey today.

Oh. And GIP.

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Date: 01:33AM | Sat, August 16th | 2008
Subject: Anxiety - Ugh
Security: Public
Tags::( frowny face, willow's warren

I threw out trash, loaded the dishwasher (haven't turned it on yet, will before bed) - all because the landlady is sending someone 'round tomorrow to fix up some odds and ends; cover some spots with paint, see about the hole the mouse came in through, etc.

But I'm so crampy and sore and achy I'm anxious at the thought of anyone in my home. Plus I always feel so guilty when she shows up and I don't seem to have made significant progress unpacking. Never mind that I told her it'd probably take me 6 months to a year. It just always feels like I'm not keeping the place tidy enough and she'll regret my lease.

Still want to do nothing but hide in my bedroom tomorrow. It's too much; this thinking the other shoe is going to drop. I'm overexposed and raw still from the past two years.

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Date: 08:18PM | Fri, August 15th | 2008
Subject: iJay Prob - Am I The Only One?
Security: Public
Tags::( frowny face, ijay rules the others drool, online: journaling systems

Who has problems with viewing images? I have my account set to image place holder for all images 640x840 but things smaller are almost always replaced with image holders. If I'm not logged in and go to my flist, I can see when someone posts pics of their little dragons or a gip, or a quiz, etc. But logged in - nada.

I don't want to open up a support request if someone on my flist knows what I'm doing wrong. Support's general response to things right now seems to be 'What browser are you using, and please use a different browser to test' - for everything.

I seriously doubt a different browser is my problem. I'm fairly certain it's iJay not reading my viewing request properly.

ETA: Has anyone also heard ANYTHING about why openid accounts who comment don't have their comments forwarded to email?

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Date: 01:37AM | Wed, July 2nd | 2008
Subject: Oi?
Security: Public
Tags::( frowny face, errands: running around, errands: shopping, health: physical

Do I know any Canadians? If so, I think in Vancouver it's still Canada Day. Happy to you.

In other news - my day. The day that involved me nearly puking.

Things you shouldn't do before grocery shopping at the only grocery store within a 3 miles radius which is near, close to or in a predominantly or historically black neighbourhood.

#1 - Read a book about healthy eating

#2 - Look at the ingredients on the food.

Save-a-lot did turn out to be like Aldi's. But a very limited Aldi's. I managed to stock up on some canned goods I'd been missing buying. I hadn't had canned pineapple in quite some time at a decent price and had been reduced to a single can per month. I bought 16. That contributed heavily to the weight I was lugging around in my little cart. As did several cans of pigeon peas - my other comfort food.

But most of what was there was high fructose corn syrup, corn syrup, unpronounceable, unpronounceable, something gum, something something starch, unpronounceable, we spare this is only vitamin e - really. Preservative #1, 2, Food color #24.

My final conclusion is that I miss a place that could give me canned pineapple and canned Goya pigeons peas at reasonable prices and also fresh vegetables and meat with a fat percent lower than 80%. Oh yeah and real butter instead of 15 variations of margarine. Margarine - the waxy substance that loves to hog/clog -- ok, there are people who probably love margarine on my flist. But I'd rather have a little less real butter than a regular serving of something that once came with a packet of colouring cause it came clear (or in Canada bright pink) {a scary thing is I remember the white version, damn I feel old}

My little cart is dead. It seemed dead after the move but my brother was convinced that it'd -never- been welded and the lacing had just popped out of the frame. I tried it once - it needs throwing away. Luckily I -know- why my cans are dented.

I hurt my knee. It was hot. I got sweaty and I wanted to hurl. And oh yeah, the supermarket isn't as close as I thought. It's 5 and a half blocks away. New York City blocks. Looooooooong ass blocks. And I didn't take my cane. Ow ow ow ow.

That was my day, and the rest of the day was recovering from that since I want around 10:30 and got back 2 hours later. Try not to hurl, nap, try not to hurl some more, have food, a little internet communication and now I'm talking myself into PT. Yeah it wasn't today it's Wed. And I don't want to go. I think I dislike my PT person. :(

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Date: 02:59AM | Sat, June 28th | 2008
Subject: Catching Up On Recs
Security: Public
Tags::( frowny face, media: tv

Dear Zvi,

Watched episodes 1 & 2 of The Middleman. It's tolerable. I say this even after watching an episode involving lost fathers. I say this after having a week involving my own lost father. It was tolerable. But it didn't suck me in. In fact, I'm fairly certain I found Pushing Daises far more enjoyable. And now that I don't have so much stress on me, it's a show I can likely watch. So I'll do that.

The Middleman is unfortunately not enough for me not to think I'm wasting minutes of my life watching yet another single white dude have adventures. And yes I do note the female lead is Latina. It doesn't change a thing for me.

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Date: 08:07PM | Mon, April 14th | 2008
Subject: :(
Security: Public
Mood:complicated complicated
Tags::( frowny face, discomfort scale 7, health: emotional

1) Store closest to me has no one in customer service, the phone just rings and rings.

2) Two stores so far have told me only one store (4 miles out) delivers and possibly one more store further out 5-7 miles out.

3) I feel even more uncomfortable and uneasy, also it's difficult to concentrate atm.

4) Gonna make oatmeal.

I'm pouty and grumpy and sad and scared (I have no idea why)

ETA: I got things done today, phone calls & interactions. I don't know why I feel so worthless. (Maybe cause my -other- knee has started to hurt?)

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By Any Other Name
of Willow
January 2016