By Any Other Name
the tale of Willow

Date: 03:08AM | Sat, November 12th | 2011
Subject: And How I Don't Much Feel Like A Gamer
Security: Public
Mood:bah humbug
Tags:comics, games: general, grr argh

1. I'm a girl (mostly), there's a whole lot to say and has been said about being female and dealing with gaming. But right away it's the screen door in my face when I start thinking about it.

2. I find the numeric dynamics of D&D type tabletop games, ridiculous. I'm always focused on the story, and all the numbers ever seem good for is determining who wins in a fight, a pissing contest, or who gets to wield weapon number blah blah blah of blah blah blahness.

3. I adore the worlds of some video games (and table top games). The possibilities are amazing. But each time I buy one, or watch one, I realize my enjoyment is mostly about what I think could happen, or how the person playing (whom I'm watching) is reacting to what is happening. But I? I don't get the point on spending money for hours and hours of fetch quests and grinding to level up, so you can be the proper power level to go after some big bad, blah blah blah cakes.

4. Pokemon 300+ has proven to me there's such a thing as too much of a good thing. I was really enjoying this. But now, not so much. I need to switch my focus, I think. I still like the bright colours and the fact that things don't have the world 'die' on the screen w/ the skullface or whatever. But the more pokemon they are, the more I'm finding myself not focused on any one group that I like - not thinking strategically like I did with the first version (with unique indie pokemon/fakemon) and having a well rounded 'team'. I just go a little 'whee! So cute! So pretty!' and then end up grinding to get that pokemon up to the level of everyone else and that's... boring.

5. Have I mentioned Fetch Quests? Fetch Quests and Grinding. W. T. F. I loathe it in games. I loathe it in 'fantasy books' - most of which I don't even read anymore cause thumbscrew the white boy farm boy and his epic destiny while there's not one shred of measured learning in his head. But I've realized I can't see myself paying money to run around doing chores in the middle of a crisis to convince people I'm worthy enough to be joined to - to defeat the damn crisis in the first place. Video game mechanics to me seem effing fucked up and crawling along, severely hampered by (currently bleeding) injury to try and reach a level that tabletop games already had and some few are moving beyond.

6. How can I be a gamer when there's so much I want to complain about; how female character don't really change size, but men can be whatever. All the judgements about female characters needing to look pretty or sexy, while male characters can be badass, imposing, intimidating and the rest. Hearing that perpetuated in people's vids, or seeing it in game ptb interviews. Shuddering as 'diversity' is catpeople and lizardpeople.


There was more, but I just got distracted by Dex-Starr, the various Lantern Corps being underused, how the Blue Lantern Corps is apparently a servant class for the GLC and no one finds this skeevy, and all the complaints about the various other corps colours; despite the fact there's a long history via the Sapphires that it takes a while for a Corps to hone purpose for it's emotional inspiration. After all, Willpower is NOT an emotion. Determination, is. And given Love has avenues to obsession and possession, makes sense it would take a while to hone; Anger? Not so much. There's revenge, vengeance, avenging, righteous rage, even the concept of purifying anger. It's all set up to make sense to have conflicts between the Corps. Red = Scorched Earth. Green = Jail and second chances. Yellow = Intergalactic Boogeymen perhaps leaning towards Facists policies.

But meh. Maybe this is also why I don't much feel like a Comic Book Girl anymore either, or a Super Hero Loving Girl.

ETA: Friend read this, im-ed me to say that they think while I don't get all of gamer culture (I'd say most), that I am a gamer. I just haven't yet found a game that meets my needs. It's a thing to consider.'

ETA2: Added 'currently bleeding' to injury. Because the visual is not meant to invoke physical handicap or claim vidgames are 'crippled' - but to invoke them dying of injures but still plodding on. Somewhere between walking wounded and crawling dead.

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By Any Other Name
of Willow
January 2016