The devilishly handsome, the darkly charming, the blah blah blahing. I have an instant turn off button for romances. I don't want to hear about beautiful (often more than not) white people finding one another's arms. I want even less to hear about the one (white) woman, with the spunk, independence and determination to xyz, while winning the heart of abc Mc White Bread. That shite messes with your mind.
It's not the only reason I'm turned off, mind. But I can remember getting into situations I really, ordinarily would have thought twice of, and should have known better about. Except that it's fed into the minds of women and girls, especially those who sneak and read romances despite being told they're not old enough - and these days with teen romances everywhere who has to steak-. It's fed that you're lucky if you're the one woman some guy can stand; the one woman who's not related to him that he wants to be around. If you're that special woman, that once in a million woman who'll surprise him by having ideas, or understanding him or what the fuck ever. I bought into that mindsight and didn't even realize I was buying into it. I was so sure I was aware of my choices - but being aware and being able to take control are two different things. And I was flying in the stream of 'I'm special!' and not taking any control at all.
The shit you'll put up with to be 'special'.
And yeah, while the focus is on hetero relationships, the damage can cross-over. So I guess I've a huge ladder of chips on my shoulder for books describing themselves a certain way or dealing with relationships a certain way. And like I said, that's before I reach the point of rolling my eyes at all the spirited independent, just as good as a man maybe even better, uber white women roaming around fiction being spectacular and beautiful but not knowing it
Have I mentioned yet the bullshit it sets up for men? That somehow beautiful, intelligent, independent woman will somehow magically become submissive girlfriends and wives for just the RIGHT male? Suddenly his opinion will matter SO much, and his advice and if he's the right guy, she'll do near anything to please him? It's like... women are cats or something. And men are owners. And the right owner meets the right cat (undoubtedly while holding the right food/lure), and suddenly they're the only one who can pet the dangerous, sleek creature and get purrs. It is SO wtf.
Worse is when the 'Cat Owner' is a 1200 year old undead and is all 'OMG, I'm getting the nuzzling even though I'm not warm nor have I run through fish' and the woman as cat is all 'Hmmm, personal ice-pack. Catnip on the rocks.'. Really. WTF?
Huh, writing this all out? I never realized before my problem is because I think relationships aren't given any respect; They're formulas in books, where x input and y chemical should equal z reaction. And the writing often does whatever it can to get x + y = z. Even if they started out with a and 1.
I used to think of romances as women's power fantasies; but they're kind of dangerous power fantasies if the only power is in who one gives up power for. Or if power is one's body and sexuality.
Huh, guess this explains why I rolled my eyes while reading a sample, wherein there's this rule x can't ever fall in love with y - it's the LAW. And I'm all, how the hell do you criminalize emotional connection? How can you think you can control it? You can say x and y may not reproduce because of these circumstances etc... But the other way of phrasing it assumes love equals sex equals reproduction and just... There were problems with that even in real life, farless your fantasy made up universe. Arrrgh. Yeah, ok, lots of issues whenever I go to pick something up, because the world, that I can find, at least, if filled with cis, white, hetero, currently able bodied individuals - who even when the glove is ON FIRE, somehow must find the 'sanctuary of love' in one another's arms.
Geeze, no wonder I adore Claymore and have to hand wave certain bits.