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No one's called to say my mother's left the country. I begin to feel hoodwinked. I called her two days in a row to see how she was doing / if she'd made her flight etc.
I'm currently in the middle of a flare. It's dawned on me that's why even making toast has seemed so difficult and why I wake up with the covers strewn everywhere and it feels exhausting to disentangle myself and throw them off.
Wrists, shoulders, neck, back/spine, jaw, knees, hips, ankles.
I can feel the time to find a new apt counting down in my head. I can feel myself struggling not to panic or get angry at myself because I know I can motivate myself. If I currently can't even think about leaving the house when it's this important - it can only be fore pain.
I don't know why it's so hard o admit that pain slows me down.
My best friend, I have no word proper for it, is currently in shock/crisis. She's being too hard on herself in how she relates to her schoolwork. She's not accepting grief can mess with the mind - or at least not accepting when it comes to her classes.
Woke up to see a stream of thoughts from her wherein while I was asleep, she hit a dark place.
No one ever came to paint the whole in the ceiling on Friday.
Ow.
ETA: Beloved Friend pointed this out to me last night. She remembered my littles. Most people hardly remember my littles. Looking at the site right now, I'm so sad I can't so something as simple to comfort her.
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The sky is a whipped, rippling river of gold, wide like the Amazon, almost a sea.
In other news I'm in so much pain I can barely walk. I've had the last slice of my easy pizza (not the kale, onion, mushroom creation I made last night and then burnt a hefty portion of this morning).
I'm now trying to make something with noodles and salmon despite the pain, because being hungry won't help me handle things better.
Looks like I definitely needed a recovery day from yesterday. Will I need it into Friday and Saturday too? I have no idea.
No other news. Though if someone could tell me how to tell if sour cream has gone bad, I'd appreciate it.
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